- Post authorBy Ngozi Franca Okoye
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- No Commentson Transform your life – move forward in the right direction.
To transform your life, you have to be aware of the things you need to change in your life to make it better. To change your behaviour, it’s more effective to work at a higher logical level, to see how it fits with your beliefs, identity the overall purpose. For example, to stop smoking or drinking, you need to determine what it gives you often a sense of space and calm.
Replace that behaviour with something else that gives you space and calm. You will also need to create a new identity, so you will still ink yourself to smoking if you call yourself a nonsmoker. You need to view yourself as a fit and healthy person, who looks after their body and believes that they need to feed their body the right nutrients
With today’s hectic lifestyle, taking solace in the art of simplicity is the key. Try brainstorming to align your goals with your purpose while bringing the elements of mind, body and spirit into balance. When you close your eyes, imagine yourself achieving the goals that you’ve set. Visualizing the realization of your ambition creates continuing awareness and commitment to your goals. End your evenings with a filled night’s sleep, at least 6 -8 hours per night, and try to squeeze in a 1-2-hour nap once a week. It is also a good idea to arrange holidays from time to time.
NOURISH YOUR BODY AND SOUL
Opportunity abounds each day of our life, each hour and each minute presents us with an ample time to renew our faith, redefine, redirect and re – align our body and spirit and move us closer towards achieving those goals. It is faith, not the mad rush that characterise the life of our people, during the ‘ember months (September, October, November and December) that will determine the level of awareness and self-rejuvenation. A solid spiritual base that nourishes your soul from within will empower you to take control of your life, while growing deeper in the knowledge of God, the service to humanity and the realisation of self worth, will strengthen your resistance to challenges of life.
If we want our bodies to sustain us over the years, we’ve got to give them what they need to operate efficiently. This includes giving our bodies a daily regimen of exercise, proper nutrition and self-care. Incorporation of a form of cardiovascular exercise into your daily routine also helps to reduce stress, improve blood flow and flexibility
- Post authorBy drfranca
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Most people have aspirations they want to achieve in life. However, as we all know living life is complicated. As a result of this complication a lot people begin to loose interest in their aspirations or even forget them altogether. This reason is because they believe their aspirations are now unattainable. This is how to realise your aspirations.
Each evening, look at your aspirations and make a list of what you will do the next day in order to move towards your goals.
Bring about real changes in attitudes
You have to become aware of what it is that you are doing that you want to change. To change your behaviour, it’s more effective to work at a higher logical level, to see how it fits with your beliefs, identify the overall purpose. Bear in mind that whatever attitude you want to change has to bring you closer to achieving your aspirations. But always incorporate time to think and visualise. Give yourself time but work hard at it. Before you know it the puzzles will start to fit it.
You must see yourself differently as we enter these ‘ember months. This is the time to reevaluate our lives especially during this pandemic. The mad rush to Christmas is starting as our ambition to break through life barriers builds up. These barriers include Social, financial, relationship, tribal etc. Whatsoever yours is or are, you must see through the magnifying glass to identify the end results.
A metaphorical story by a local church priest illustrates this perfectly well. Here it goes: A tree surgeon otherwise known as wood cutter makes daily trip to the market to sell just enough to feed himself for the day. On one occasion while on his usual trip, a man stopped him to dish out an advice. He said, “why don’t you cut and sell enough to last you for a week at least so that you don’t have to make these daily trips.” “Why that?” the surgeon asked. “So that you make sufficient amount to feed and buy yourself a wheel barrow, that will make your profession easier”. “After wheel barrow what next”, Mr tree surgeon said. The man told him that after that he could then go ahead to build a house as the wheel barrow would assist him to make more money. The tree surgeon appeared adamant and replied saying, “what next after building a house to live”. The man told him that he would go ahead to build an estate for rents and regular income. “Ok. after that what next”, he said again. “Of course after an estate you can now relax”, the man told him. The surgeon shouted, “what a long process to achieve relaxation”. He then told the man that he was relaxed doing his job.
Before beginning the journey of self-renewal, you must be willing to admit that you need improvement, development, correction and encouragement. Cut out the old habits, the bad relationships or the unhealthy attitudes that are success saboteurs. Be willing to admit deficiencies in your character, your skills your habits and lifestyle. Denial in any form will cause you to procrastinate and resist growth. Whether it’s poor time management, poor money management, low self-esteem, fear or doubt, you must identify the obstacles that are holding you back before taking the steps to overcome them.
Build your confidence by knowing when to say No. ‘No’ is a complete sentence and it is an extremely powerful word to use when we are trying to empower ourselves. Whilst living our lives, we are encouraged to be positive and proactive. This makes many people to say yes very often hence turning them into overwhelmed or burdened individuals. However, in order to have a balanced life in which you feel confident and in control, you have to learn to say ‘no’ to anything or anyone that drains your energy and is not in your best interests.
If you are someone who is a people pleaser then it’s quite clear that you need to learn to say ‘no’ a lot more than you currently do. If something is not improving or nourishing your life, ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it worth the effort? Has it outlived its usefulness in your life? If you feel that you don’t have a very good reason for doing something, just say ‘no’ to it. Mind you that it will take some practice from you but you will get there. By saying ‘no’ when you can not do somethings means that when you do say ‘yes’ it is highly valued and thereby bestowing power on you.
Instead of shrinking, know that freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you. Take charge of your life
Live your life one day at a time. Become more present in each moment. Give yourself time to slow down, notice all the details of your day-today life and take advantage of the external and internal cues around you. As you pay more attention to your world and have an open, receptive state of mind, you’ll start to see more and increase your awareness of flow. This is a time for inspiration and acquiring new insight and new perspectives on things. When you’re entangled in a fast-paced goal-driven life, you can fall into the trap of living in the future and overlooking the magic of the present. But when you pay attention to the moment, you’ll probable be pleasantly surprised by the great opportunities that are staring you in the face, simply waiting to be noticed! So get on with living and enjoying every moment of your life.
The benefit in spring cleaning your life is the boost it provides to your energy flow. Successful people conserve and reserve more than enough energy in their mental, physical and emotional being to carry their ideas and projects through to completion. Their energy visibly flows through them and can be contagious, captivating others and sweeping them along as things get done quickly and almost effortlessly. To increase your energy flow, you need to minimize the things or situations that sap your energy and maximize the things or situations that bring so much energy into your life.
A known fact is that clutter drains you of energy, so sort everything out, decide what to keep, throw out, give away, sell or store. Get rid of anything you don’t absolutely need or haven’t used in the some months. Assign a home to everything you wish to keep and get organized.
- Create an Inspirational Environment at Home and at Work
Developing an inspirational environment, both at home and at work, is a key element of your starting point. Establish a tranquil, harmonious home as one of the cornerstones of your life. If the space you reside has a positive atmosphere, you’re more likely to be in a position to perform at your best.
2. Check the area you live or work in.
Do you like the area where you live? Do you like the area where you work? If it’s not ideal, what can you do to make the best of it? Is your home somewhere you can relax and recharge? Does it suit your preferred lifestyle?
Sometimes small changes like changing the lighting, adding shelving, fresh flowers, music, pictures-can make a big difference. At work, adding plants and making sure you have a clear desk and tidy files can give you more energy to be productive. Think what you can do to improve your own space and go ahead and do it for a better you.
Decongestion is the key to reclaiming your life.
Decongestion of our immediate environment is the key to reclaiming our life. When we declutter our surroundings, it reduces our stress levels and makes us happier. We all have a certain amount of gunk or certain issues that block our lives, people and beliefs that hold us back, slow us down or drain our energy. We put up with clutter, niggling unfinished tasks and less than ideal situations that divert us from the important things in life, if you want to focus on your future, you need to get rid of as much of this gunk as possible.
What are the nagging issues, big and small, in your life at this moment? Maybe you haven’t really noticed until now all the little annoying things that are holding you back. We tolerate so many things unnecessarily. A negative, judgemental and over critical friend, a fridge that’s too small, old television set, a scanner that doesn’t work properly, a pile of ironing, unfinished paperwork, a dirty car, a client who drains us. The list is endless, so make a list of the issues that hold you back from attaining your goal. Then act upon that list gradually until you reach your potential. You will realise that you will experience less niggling feelings.
How to develop the right attitude.
Getting the right attitude:
1. Build on strengths-start with your biggest talents and go from there.
2. Know that people who are overcritical and attach negative labels and judgements don’t help anybody.
3. Acknowledge that change can be fun and rewarding and notice the difference.
4. Cultivate a flexible approach- when something isn’t working, it’s time to change.
5. Realise that there is a time and place to be soft and sensitive as well as a time and place to be tough to get your point across especially in a work place.
6. Introduce a sense of humour and spontaneity into your day.
7. Recognise that work is part of your life so find time to play too.
8. Rapport with colleagues is the best foundation for business. When the relationship is right, the business will follow.
9. Envisage and visualise the outcomes you want. When you are clear about what you want you can go in the right direction.
10. Listen with empathy and convince the communicator that you are interested in what they have to say. Make eye contact.
The fact that you are alive has an element of stress associated with that. Stress is nothing but feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. There are two kinds of stress, eustress and distress. Eustress happens to us out of good emotions, for example when you are too happy or over excitement can cause us eustress. On the other hand, we have distress, which comes to us due to bad emotions, and that is the one that cause us more harm.
This is how to manage distress. When you feel stress, there are many things you can do, you can for example start doing exercises, engage yourself in sports, that will produce some good hormones in your body and help to relieve some of these stress. If there are certain things or certain people that give you stress, I tell you see them less often if they are going to cause you stress. We are talking about your life here. So if you have a lot of people or some people that cause you to be stressed, think of how you go around them, be prepared so that you do not feel that much stress when you are around them, if at all you have to be around them. There are some other things you can do to also relieve these symptoms of stress, you can take up cleaning, something as simple as cleaning your home can relieve stress. A tidy and organised environment has been proven to relieve stress. There are also some other things you can do to a reduce stress, you can take up yoga, you can take up meditation and of course you can pray, put everything in the hand of God. When you put all your problems in the hands of God, stress kind of releases. You have to go spiritual sometimes in order to help yourself.
Jealousy is the green eyed monster that eats up the soul. Jealousy stems from the feelings of insecurity, fear, resentment and lack of self esteem. That means that someone (Jealouser) is jealousing someone else (Jealousee) because of their status or that the jealousee have something that the jealouser feel that they cannot have. Envy and jealousy go hand in hand. Anybody who is constantly jealous is never happy, and the quickest way to age and look old is to feel jealous all the time. Nevertheless, there is really no point to feel jealous all the time. The world is so big that it can contain everybody and their different aspirations and ambitions.
The points below will help you know when someone is jealousing you.
They will be overcritical of you even when it is obvious you are performing well. They will fail to reason because a jealous person has lost all reasoning power as they are consumed by the power of jealousy.
They will assume the higher moral ground. This will enable them to hide under the cloak of righteousness to perpetuate their jealous plans which is to be judgemental.
They act as nice people to others except to the person they are jealous of. This enables them to hide their real intentions. They would always claim that they are concerned and that they want the best for you. But you know by yourself that interactions with these people don’t make you feel so good.
Most of these jealous people are control freaks and they have a god complex. They feel that the world should revolve around them. So they don’t feel happy when someone is better than them. So they try to berate the person. They try to dismiss the accomplishments of the person they are jealous of or even wish that the good things happened to somebody else because they are consumed by jealousy.
This is how to save yourself from jealous people.
First of all, you should feel happy that people are jealous of you. It means that you are worthy and have things that they don’t have hence why they are jealous of you.
Try and get on with your life as best as you can, do not let them demolarise or demotivate you. Be your biggest fan and your own biggest cheerleader so that their actions will not affect you whatever they do.
Know that the problem is not you but them. They are lacking in self awareness. Infact they deserve pity. So ignore them as much as possible or when you have the time you can offer explanations to them. But what ever happens don’t let their actions affect you.
Mantras are strong, positive statements powerful tools for improving self-esteem and confidence. Through regular repetition of any particular mantra, the subconscious mind comes to terms with the message and it becomes normal to the subconscious mind. Therefore negative self talk is replaced by positive messages and ideas. You can create mantras to achieve anything you want, to improve any kind of situation, and to combat any kind of stress: fear of failure, lack of confidence, pain, anger.
Mantras can be general or specific, they are best kept short and simple, and should always be positive rather than negative (‘I am making it in life’ not ‘I’m no longer struggling’).
The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams. In a nutshell Dr Franca says that to be financially free you have to think, think, think. Change your thinking to possibility thinking and know that with God all things are possible.
Remember that only those who can risk going too far can really find out how far they can go. I cannot tell you what business to go into at this stage.
All I am saying is that for you to change your outlook you will for the first time have to notice the opportunities that abound.
Risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
Failure and success are two sides of the coin – the will to try
If at first you don’t succeed try, try again. If you are a true entrepreneur you should not know the meaning of the word “Failure”. Real entrepreneurs look at failure as just another obstacle in their path to success. In fact, many people believe that you must fail’ before you can truly achieve monumental success.
A great example is Thomas Edison the great inventor of electric bulb. Thomas tried and failed more than one thousand times before his invention. Henry Ford encountered several failures as a great automobile genius of our time. Albert Einstein failed over one million times in his laboratory experiments.
HOW TO LIVE A GREAT LIFE: START WITH WHAT YOU HAVE; YOURSELF.
To live a great life, you have to start some where. The most competent person you know now in matters concerning you is yourself, so it makes perfect sense to start with what you have which is your humble self. This means that you have to look within you and search for the hero inside you. Start with the talents you have. We all have capabilities and abilities, it is only that some of us have not realized how to turn what we have into opportunities. So instead of waiting for that big break, start with the little you have and turn it into something big.
HOW TO STAY FOCUSED AND POSITIVE
- Say this positive and self-fortifying mantra very often: ‘I haven’t peaked yet the best is yet to come’
- Avoid rigid vocabulary (‘should”, ‘always’, no-one/everyone’ and especially ‘can’t’)
- Test your assumptions. If you think you would find t stressful to speak out in a meeting, write down something you’d like to say and read it out! What’s the worst that could happen?
- Talk about how you feel. You’re not the only one with fears and difficulties and speaking to others helps you keep things in proportion.
OPEN YOUR MIND
DEVELOP YOURSELF… A mind is like a flower very beautiful when open
It may be a cliché, but life really is what you make it. Research has shown over and over again that optimistic people with a positive outlook on life are healthier and live longer, and tend to have more stable relationships and better-paid jobs than their negaholic counterparts. Pessimists make their own lives miserable and they drag others down with them. But, if you alter your mindset from negative to positive and see your glass as half full rather than half empty- you’ll give yourself the potential for a healthier, happier and longer life.
Are you being too hard on yourself?
Most of us aren’t even conscious of our negative thoughts, let alone realise how we’re subconsciously stopping ourselves from reaching our goals.
Read the statements below and tick which apply to you:
- You think there are no opportunities around.
- You see everything as being at one extreme or the other. For example, you might think: ‘because the party didn’t go completely to plan, it was a total failure
- You ignore compliments and only focus on the negative. Perhaps nine people tell you that they love your new hairstyle, but your friend says she preferred it as it was. You, of course only dwell on your friend’s comment.
- You fail to recognise your own achievements only dwelling on what went wrong and what you could have done better.
- You’re always criticising yourself, using terms like ‘must’, ‘should’ and ‘have to’ in such a way that you always feel bad about yourself.
- You always blame yourself, regardless of whether or not you’re responsible or not.
If you can recognise any of these traits in yourself, you’ve already made the first important step in changing your life. Now, tell yourself that you have the capacity to retrain your mind to adopt a thinking style that not only reduces stress, but also will get you more of what you want, more of the time. Over time you will re-programme your thought patterns to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. So, if you’re fed up with holding back, you can change your mindset and start living.