“I Feel Like I’m Always the One Giving More in Relationships”
Dear Franca,
I feel like I’m always the one putting in more effort — checking in, making plans, being supportive. It’s exhausting, and I’m starting to feel unappreciated. What should I do?
Franca Says:
That feeling is your signal — don’t ignore it.
Relationships are not meant to feel one-sided. Effort should flow both ways, even if it’s expressed differently.
When you’re always the one giving, it creates imbalance. Over time, that imbalance turns into frustration.
The first step is awareness. You’ve already recognized the pattern.
Now ask yourself: Have I communicated how I feel?
Sometimes people don’t realize the imbalance because it hasn’t been clearly expressed.
Be honest, but calm. Share how the situation affects you without placing blame.
If things don’t change after communication, you have to decide what you’re willing to accept.
Because the truth is, you can’t force someone to meet you at your level.
But you can choose where you invest your energy.
Healthy relationships don’t drain you — they support you.
So don’t be afraid to step back and reassess.
You deserve mutual effort, not constant exhaustion.